27-year old co-opts boyfriend's birthday to propose to herself on his behalf, considers break up after she orders "birthday cake" that reads "Will you marry me, Sarah?"

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    AITA Leaving My Own Birthday Dinner Because My Girlfriend Turned Into Proposal Herself?

    wanted "This is my birthday. If you a proposal, you should've talked to me about it first.”
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    I (28M) had my birthday dinner last weekend, and my girlfriend, Sarah (27F), offered to plan it. I was excited because I usually keep things low-key, but she said she wanted to "make it special." She booked a nice restaurant and invited close friends and family.
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    Everything was going great until it was time for dessert. The waiter brought out a cake, but instead of my name, it said: "Will You Marry Me, Sarah?"
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    Cheezburger Image 10467688960
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    I was completely blindsided. Sarah got all teary- eyed, turned to me, and said, "Well? This is the best surprise ever, right?" Everyone around us started clapping, and her friends were filming.
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    I just sat there, stunned. She took my silence as hesitation and started going on about how she knew I wasn't "big on grand gestures," but she couldn't wait anymore, so she "took matters into her own hands."
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    At that moment, I stood up and said, "This is my birthday. If you wanted a proposal, you should've talked to me about it first." Then I grabbed my stuff and walked out.
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    Cheezburger Image 10467688704
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    Sarah was mortified, and her friends blew up my phone, calling me an ahle for embarrassing her and "ruining the night." She even said I humiliated her when she was just trying to do something romantic.
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    Now, my family is split. Some say I should have just gone along with it for the night, while others think she crossed a major boundary.
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    So... AITA for leaving my own birthday dinner because my girlfriend hijacked it for a proposal?
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    helenaflowers She didn't just turn it into a proposal - she turned it into a proposal where she proposed to herself on your behalf! That is not rational behavior in the least.
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    If she wanted to propose, she could've proposed to you from/as herself, TO YOU. - - But no she wanted the public moment of her being proposed to and decided your birthday was the perfect time for her to give this to herself. She was "trying to do something romantic" - but you weren't the intended recipient. She was.
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    It was nice of her to show you what she values, because it definitely isn't you. You're a prop for her, and at least now you know that for sure. Absolutely, positively NTA.
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    troybadena That's beyond self-centered--she totally hijacked your moment for herself. Huge red flag. NTA at all.
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    Shadow_84 It's not even the hijack, though that's bad too. Tired of waiting so she tries to publicly force OP to accept a proposal. I wonder if she's even had a discussion with him before this, and how long they've been together too
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    Senator_Bink She didn't just turn it into a proposal - she turned it into a proposal where she proposed to herself on your behalf! Maybe she can buy herself a ring and throw herself a wedding.
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    Vegetable-Cod-2340 This... it was the most manipulative tactic ever. It's such a series of red flags.
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    Savings_Telephone_96 NTA. Time to end the relationship. GF is selfish and delusional.
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    NefariousnessFresh24 I guess the gift she gave you was to show you her true colors NTA, and you might be dodging a bullet there
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    LuigiMPLS Yeah, turns out her true color is red (flag)
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    Wakemeup3000 NTA. Glad you didn't go along with it. The cake could have said Will you marry me, YOUR NAME with her proposing to you which would have been cringeworthy as best. Instead she decided to make it all about her and put you on the spot. Please see her for who she really is. Not worthy of your time and attention.
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    Otherwise-External12 Yes, if it was her proposing to him it would be one thing, the way she did it was awkward. Plus the fact that she did it in front of friends and family makes it even more awkward.
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    BlackLakeBlueFish I have so much second-hand embarrassment from this! OP, this is very odd. Can you imagine how she will handle having children?! Always wanting herself to be the center of attention? Yikes.
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    Snip3 There's nothing wrong with proposing to someone on their birthday, I think that could've been incredibly cute. Proposing to yourself WHENEVER, much less on your partner's birthday, is absolutely deranged. OP needs to have a nice long think, followed by either leaving or having an even longer conversation with his SO about this.
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    Meadowember NTA. She basically ruined your special day to get what she wanted. It was selfish and disrespectful.
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    Oh_Wiseone NTA - so your family thinks you should just go along with this - meaning you are now engaged? what's wrong with them?
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    Bobbybuflay That's not what OP said. He said they wanted him to go along with it for the night, meaning de- escalate and talk about it more later to save her the embarrassment.

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